I Have Difficult Babies

Posted on August 22, 2010. Filed under: Uncategorized |

And I work so hard to get there here too! I need an outlet other than inflicting myself on my friends on Facebook so at 2am this morning, I am blogging about my ‘easy’ baby. Yes, at 2am, after walking for almost three hours, I am still calling Stella my easy baby. That’s not saying much though.

Graham was what most people would refer to as colicky. He screamed from about 6pm to 10pm every night (that’s sounding pretty good right this moment though!) and when he was awake during the day he was generally fussy and unhappy. This went on until about 10-12 weeks old and then he gradually began to relax a little. I’m pretty sure he needed crania-sacral therapy due to his birth trauma and that might have helped him a lot.

With Stella, I’m at a loss. She isn’t colicky. She is demanding. She wants to be held constantly, which I don’t mind at all and she spends a lot of  time in the Moby wrap. The Moby is where she is happiest and I love to wear my babies so it’s perfect. However, at night it is a big problem.

Take tonight for instance. She slept from about 7pm to 11pm which is a great stretch of sleep for a newborn. Unfortunately, I could not sleep then since I have a two year old and a kitchen to clean. I did get to sleep from 9pm til 11pm though. When she woke up my husband brought her to me and from 11pm until 1:30am, the only way she would not scream was if she was in the Moby and I was walking. That is VERY exhausting but I have to do it because I don’t want to wake up Josh and Graham. At about 1:30am I kicked Josh out of our room and sent him to the couch and told Stella we were done walking. She did not appreciate that very much and has pretty much been crying (screaming) ever since. I alternate holding her and laying her down and she alternates between crying and not crying. I’m hoping she will drift off to sleep soon since it’s almost 2:30am now.

The newborn days are hard but they do go by quickly. I will miss her as a newborn and I know it. I do want to enjoy this time and I am, mostly, but I’m also tired and really over being up so much at night. I don’t mind waking up several times a night for feedings and diaper changes but I have a really hard time with being up  (and walking!!!)  for 3-4 hours straight. My two year old tends to get up really early too.

I am pretty good about napping and thankfully I can. During the week Graham goes to school for three hours in the morning and most days I can nap with Stella, if she will go down. My two year old also takes a three hour afternoon nap so Stella and I get in a nap there too. I’m not well rested but I’m not a zombie so I’m functioning. Of course, I’ve had an ajuma (Korean cleaning lady who also cooked) for five days a week.. Her last full week ended Friday so I’m on my own now. She will come on Mondays to clean but day to day I’m back to doing the housework and cooking. At least I’ll have something to do while doing all this walking with Stella!

Hopefully Stella will calm down soon. I’m trying to remain peaceful and calm and ride it out. I don’t expect her to sleep through the night and don’t mind night feeding but I do wish she’d learn to go back to sleep after she eats. A two or tree hour stretch would be just fine!

EDIT: I just wanted to add that after I posted this, Stella did finally drift of to sleep just before 3am. We slept until after 8am. I’ve been saying quite a bit that it’s not the sleeping that’s the problem, she sleeps great once she gets there. It’s that she wants to be walked around for several hours in the middle of the night that’s the problem. I have to figure out how to get her resettled when she wakes, that’s the main issue.

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9 Responses to “I Have Difficult Babies”

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I’m in a rush right now, so I will give a quick response, and then maybe a slower one later.

It sounds as though you may have a “high need child”. Here is a bunch of info from Dr. Sears about the “high need child” (click on the “high need” titles first).

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp

They have several other very good articles on the “high need child” and how to adjust your life in a way that helps both you and her, but I can’t find them just now–hopefully I will later.

Also, my older son had both colic and was “high need”. One thing that I did that seemed to help was to go to sleep with him and the front pack still on my body. I would prop myself up with pillows and get a good amount of sleep that way. In this way, I was holding him without fear of dropping him, and he was happy, and I got some sleep.

Later,
Joy

Thanks Joy.

Yes, she’s high needs and I’m aware of it. My son was also both high needs and colicky. At least Stella isn’t colicky. Our saving grace is our Moby wrap (soft wrap for front wearing newborns) but she won’t sleep in it with me sleeping too. She likes the movement. She will sleep like that for an hour or less but then she’s up again.

Since we’ve had a high needs baby before, we know a lot of tricks to help. Once thing is to avoid overstimulating her in the evening. THis did require some change since we have a two year old but we are lucky to have a large two story house so my husband can take him upstairs to play and do bed time stuff while the baby and I stay down stairs in the quiet. It works really well and on good nights, about every other night, she transitions very well and sleeps a good 5 hour stretch.

The issue we have is when she wakes up at night. I change her diaper and she eats and then we are up 3-4 hours on the bad nights. She won’t go back to sleep unless walking. It’s exhausting. I can handle all the rest of it but that aspect. I have to learn to get her to go back to sleep and to stay that way when I put her down.

By the way, Joy, did you read my VBAC story?

Awe, Amy I hope Stella starts to cooperate soon so you can get some decent rest. Unfortunately, I have no advice as Eli was a great sleeper early on and was only mildly colicky.

Kari,

Word of advice, don’t tell a mom whose dealing with this kind of stuff how great your baby slept. It tends to make one angry! 🙂

sounds like all three of mine. casey was the colicky one, but all three have been UBER needy. wes always jokes that our ‘easy’ baby would be most peoples’ nightmare. and still, it ends too soon.

hope you get some rest soon, mama.

xo

Yes, that’s exactly how I feel! My easy baby is most people’s nightmare but still much easier than my first. Puts it into perspective I guess. It would be so much more manageable if she wouldn’t stay awake 3-4 hours straight in the middle of the night wanting to walk.

Can you keep the ajumma for another few months?

Aww, I can relate somewhat. My daughter was a high-needs baby. She’d fuss if I put her down even if it was for a minute. She insisted on sleeping on my chest the first few months and she’d scream bloody hell the entire duration of car rides. It was a difficult time but I do miss those days. Now I am almost 30 weeks pregnant with our second and hoping this child is a little easier…we shall see! 🙂


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